So far this day sucks. I want to get my stuff and go. Go anywhere. Walk and not know where I'm going until i reach that place.
I again realized that i don't have many friends. Last week my phone was stolen and with him i lost almost 300 phone numbers. Even though I have the same number, the current contact list shows 16/200 entries.
My ex wants to get back together, and start as if we are in a new relationship and forget the bad things that happened then. Except him. He said he will remember what he did wrong 6 months ago and not do them again. He said he still loves me. I talked with a good friend and he said that it's not worth it. And i don't need to get back in an old relationship, i need something new. Something that goes along with me, my needs and my crazy but awesome life. I know he's right. I ....I know he is a good guy after all, but i cannot trust him anymore. I cannot lie that i love him just to make him happy. I don't want to be in a relation out of pity.
I'm good on my own.
I am good not being in a relationship.
I am not looking for a relationship right now, I am not looking for a guy to be how i want him to be.
I am just waiting. Waiting for the right guy to come along and blow my mind with everything he says and does. Waiting for the guy that will do things for me because he wants to not because I tell him what to do. I don't want a puppet I want the real thing.
I guess i have to wait a long time for this guy...
I'm done chasing .....i think I'm done....
I'm done.....
I lost the power to chase but earned the power to wait.
xoxo. Olive
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